Thursday, August 31, 2017

Transitions, False Starts, and New Goals

Just when you think your life is fixed and you are on a path that won't change, BOOM, God throws a curve ball at you. I'm sure you have all experienced that. Part of my new resolve in restarting this blog is to keep it real and focused on daily things that may be of interest to many people and to share my experiences along the way.

My change was a sudden move from NC to MO. I really didn't want to move but circumstances domestically demanded it along with health issues and blood kin problems I was hoping to help with.

All of a sudden, I left beautiful Chapel Hill, NC and found myself moved into a really crappy rural house filled with debris, filthy from being vacant for years, and surrounded on all three sides with: COWS.  I never had thought much about cows before this move and experience but now many of my puns are related back to this backwoods, primitive, uncultural, rural setting that I have nick named the cow pasture. I don't mind cows or pastures, and I love farms, but I had never planned
to live in a hick place where it was impossible to find a cappuccino, get reliable Internet, and have constant domestic problems like breaking pipes, clogged sewage lines, spiders, snakes twice as long as jump ropes, a landlord almost 90 years old that won't fix anything, and well, just everything malfunctioning.

After nine months, I had just about given up. The blood kin's emergency had turned out to be a lie with most of them being convicted drug users and con artists. My tutoring business was almost dead in the water due to the nightmare satellite Internet service called Hughes net and then T-mobile broadband, neither of which can maintain a stable, consistent broadband speed making video conferencing with clients impossible. My business partner parked the coaching business we had launched a year prior until I could get the domestic stuff under control (snakes out of the house: imagine one slithering across the floor while you are online or on the phone with a client paying 2k and screaming at the top of your  lungs in his/her ear-just not very good for business).

Then about a month ago, I received funding to return to college for a second Masters Degree in TESOL at UMKC. My business partner/mentor moved to Kansas City to be near by. New students arrived. And I started seeing the problem as not being in NC but in being in a rural area that lacked the resources I need. Hey, rural areas are great for raising horses, kids, and cows but it is useless for someone with my objectives, research library needs, and my unquenchable need for GOOD coffee, sky scrapers, museums, shopping malls, and concerts to name a few.

Transitions come in many packages. Often they do not arrive in the way we expect or invite (or in my case, prayed for). In fact, it seems like God has given me the opposite of what I asked for. I conclude that His ways are far more advanced that my intellectual level can process. I trust Yahweh (God the father) and Messiah (Jesus Christ) and I put my life course, business course, research course, book course, and everything into their very capable hands.

I'm back in business: coaching, teaching, editing, and tutoring online and in person if you reside in the Kansas City area.  I will be here for about two years until I finish this degree and then I will move on to the next academic objective.

In the meantime, false starts can lead to a new and clearer path that in turn, will lead to a higher objective, new opportunities, and other wonderful things.

Transitions are not easy. They hurt. They REALLY hurt.And they make you cry, scream, and think all kinds of things. But ultimately, logic wins out and we learn how to process the new environment, seek out new resources, friends, and opportunities.

So, I say, "Howdy from the cow pasture!" (at least until I transition to KC once I find a place large enough for my personal research library that is ever growing).

Cheers until my next blog.

June Narber

Sunday, July 24, 2016

Changing Times

Change is a scary thing, isn't it?

We all feel that way at times. But life can be explained in this one term: change.

Everything changes. There is a proverb that says a dead river died because the water stopped flowing. Life must keep flowing. Change must come in order to still have life. Life flows as water in a raging river. It never stops and so, it must constantly change.

Change is not always a bad thing. But it is not always positive either. The one fact we must face is that change will come. Even when it is bad, the knowledge that life constantly morphs should comfort us that the difficult periods will not last forever. Likewise when things are going well, don't get too comfortable as change always is knocking on the door.

In the past, careers rarely changed. People got jobs and stayed there until they retired. This rarely happens anymore. One way to always stay in control of career is to constantly be evolving your personal skill set, communication skills, and advancing in your technological abilities. That way, when change comes, whether by chance or invitation, you will be prepared.

That is often easier said than done, isn't it?

Recently an old friend asked if she could come live with me, as she feared she was losing her job. She also asked if I could her find a job. Of course, my answer was negative to both. As young chicks, when things get bad, it is often instinct to look for a place to hide, a situation where you place your cares in the lap of someone else, and thus, you make your problems theirs. This is a highly negative way of dealing with change. In seeing so many people in their 20's, 30's, and even 40's moving home to live with their parents, this is almost an American epidemic. The scariest prospect is, what happens when the parent dies? Hiding from reality at any age past 15 is toxic and shouldn't be allowed to happen.

No matter how bad things get, no one should EVER move home to be with mommy and daddy. It is better to rent a room and share it with four others and to eat noodles while taking a job delivering pizzas.  Psychologically, when a grown man or woman moves HOME, the child sector of the brain is activated and it becomes increasingly difficult to ever reenter adult life. I highly discourage this act.

A close friend recently married a woman who I highly suspected was going to use him to support her adult, deadbeat children. Of course, this has proven true as three of her nonworking children moved in with them in his tiny house. In a situation like this, it is going to be up to the homeowner to simply tell them to get out in 48 hours. The longer parasites are allowed to stay attached, the harder it is to detach them. I pity him greatly but as he invited this problem in to his life, he will have to solve it.

Shouldn't we help people down on their luck? Of course but that doesn't mean we allow our lives to become Grand Central Station or allow chaos to enter our domains. Helping people is often giving them ideas of what they might consider doing to alter their negative situations. People who refuse to adapt to change are at fault for refusing to deal with the signs that hint problems were coming.

Change will always come. However, to be prepared, one must learn to have FORESIGHT. That means they constantly are evaluating the facts in his or her life and learn how to predict potential problems and to always have a plan B ready to instigate. 

What about losing a job: can anyone be prepared for that? I think they can to some degree. The first step is to always be learning new things; reading the latest trends in their industry, and to constantly stay in contact with other people who work in their sector. One way to do this is to network on LinkedIn. You don't wait until you lose a job to start thinking about other choices. You constantly should be evaluating if there is a better job or even a better place for you to be. This isn't being fickle but being prepared. Those who fail to prepare, prepare to fail.

Always have a secondary income whether from selling things online via books or collectibles or a part time job tutoring, editing, or otherwise.

Learn to develop passive income. Passive income is money that is constantly generated without any ongoing action required. Google "passive income opportunities" for ideas about this.

The last topic to deal with changing times is budget. Thousands of books have been written about budgeting but few really address the real issue of budgeting: spending.  The only people who should use credit cards are the wealthy: a) they can afford to pay off their balance monthly; b) they use it as a convenience, not as a tool to buy the necessities of life; c) they often use them to accumulate air mileage which is in itself a form of free income; or at least a usable resource. Anyone who struggles to pay monthly bills should not own a credit card because a) they will overspend because they will use that credit card to buy the best food (steak) at the store, not the food they can afford (beans, rice, pasta, etc.); b) they can't afford to pay off the balance monthly; c) they start to see credit cards the same as CASH and this is the foundational reason they are in debt; d) they become dependent on the easy access to what they want and need instead of learning to WAIT until they afford it; e) they will use cards as a crutch to avoid the action necessary to get out of debt such as eating out in restaurants instead of taking the time to plan and cook food at home.  In fact, most impoverished people don't fully realize how poor they actually are because they foolishly have a wallet of credit cards.

The most successful people in life use changing times in life much like a surfer uses a surfing board to ride waves: they REVEL in change as it brings exciting new opportunities their way.

Perhaps we can learn to be like this ourselves by a) developing foresight and vision to be reading the heartbeat of our careers and the latest things happening; b) be prepared for emergencies by having secondary and passive income revenues always in action; c) living on a budget, getting to a cash system and not using credit cards, and cooking at home most of the time.

Wave surfers have to learn to stand on their own two feet before they can soar on the oceans of time. See you at the surf!!

Friday, July 1, 2016

Of Warm Summer Winds and Lazy Days

Summer brings warm breezes and lazy summer days. Most of us would rather be lying on a beach or barbecuing in the backyard. Business seems to be something we just do to pay the bills. However, success comes with a price.

Have you heard that before? Do you believe it? Financial security and business success do come with  a price tag. While most blogs will tell you to relax and enjoy yourself, I'm going to tell you the opposite. Why would I ruin such a pleasant thought of idle bliss and summer day dreams?

Sadly, here in the western world, we have been lulled in to a false sense of financial security. Having been raised by a wonderful man who had lived through the Great Depression, our household adhered to the idea that sunny days were the time to work even harder at completing projects, tending the garden to guarantee an abundant fall harvest, and dealing with things that needed to be repaired or simply finished. It was indeed easier to repair a broken fence in the pasture during a sunny day than a downpour. And pulling weeds was actually easier during warm weather than when it became chilly and windy.

Sadly, gone are the rural living and farm days for me and for many of you. But the principle is still there: work and produce while both the atmosphere and weather is favorable. We don't know what tomorrow is going to bring. So isn't it better to make that vacation just a couple of days shorter to get back and deal with that leaking roof or that landscaping project? And isn't it wiser to follow through with that work project instead of driving across the country for a silly useless gathering?

Remember this one fact: it only takes one bad day on Wall Street for your investments to tumble. And it takes a single decision for your employer to end your job or your clients to abandon you. Utilize every resource that is at your disposal NOW and don't let the seduction of lazy days stimulate your inner sloth. There is a time to rest and there is a time to produce.

Unfortunately, too many will soon realize they squandered their most useful productive seasons for yet another trip down entertainment lane.

Produce, strategize, plan, implement, and work harder than you ever have.

You can rest during the coming economic storm in which it will be nearly impossible to generate profit.


Monday, December 28, 2015

Affirmations for 2016

Happy New Year!

As a common cultural practice, we often make ourselves promises every new year of things we plan to do better. These resolutions commonly reflect our inner dreams, social needs, or areas that need improvement. However, most people fall short of reaching these aspirations for several reasons: time, patience, commitment, and money.

Affirmations are kind of like resolutions except they are made daily. They have a 90% chance of being implemented because they are a form of a daily reminder a person says to the self first thing every morning while looking in the mirror at his or her reflection and the last thing each evening before going to bed.

So how does one make an affirmation?  I suggest you get some index cards about the size of your hand. On each card, write one positive affirmation in your favorite color of pen saying something like the following:

I am in shape.
I am thinking clearly.
I am staying on task.
I am a loyal person.
I am beautiful.
I am positive.
I am a great friend.
I am a great mother.
I love my __________.

Remember: Say your affirmation(s) every morning upon waking up while looking in the mirror. Repeat the process right before you go to bed.

The simpler the wording is, the better. We say, "I am" because it tells the subconscious mind that this statement is already true. What we are doing in fact is reprogramming the subconscious mind to start thinking in a positive progressive way. When we truly believe something is possible, we automatically start behaving in ways that lead to the desired outcome.

As humans, most of us are prone to negative self talk. And this self-talk is the very thing that often hinders us from reaching our goals. It is not a matter of will power but belief power. Who doesn't want success and great love in their lives? But how many of us truly believe we are worthy or capable of all the great things we aspire to bring or develop in our lives?

Of course, faith and prayer help a lot too. But prayer alone is not enough.  I know dozens of Christians who pray nonstop but nothing ever changes in their lives because they refuse to take any action. The Christian God requires action and walking in faith. (Be doers not sayers-paraphrased)

Make a new goal for 2015 and replace empty unfocused resolutions with positive affirmations.

Write and share your affirmations with me. I'd love to hear to hear about them.

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Introducing Charlie McGillicuddy LLC (

We live in an ultra competitive world. While some seem to thrive in it, others struggle to find their footing in an ever shifting, hard to understand employment sector.

In spite of many laws to try to protect against discrimination, we know it still exists. It is well documented that many companies start laying people off once they get to be middle aged, often replacing them with younger workers at a substantial reduction in salary, as they are "newbies".

Sadly, just about anyone can find some research study or statistics to twist to prove whatever point he or she is trying to get readers to believe. I teach a different strategy and approach to employment and job hunting.

A couple of years ago, a fusion took place between my friend and mentor, Charlie, and my ideology.

There exist literally hundreds of online and in person job and life coaches that seem to promise potential clients the sun, moon, and stars. They incorporate pop psychology, positive thinking and affirmations, and the ever-popular trending ideas that exist in society. When these are more closely analyzed, they are really nothing new but are the regurgitated ideas that can be traced back to the main fore fathers of fortune 500/business/motivational coaching.  While this information is good, it is often severely overpriced. Many clients roam between the various coaches taking all of their seminars, lectures, buying their CD's and books, and they seem to never break out of their given problem or cycles of bad fortune or misplacement in the work force. One of my closest friends actually has attended over 100 retreats and seminars from over a dozen of these motivational speakers and writers, spending well over $15,000 yet nothing has changed in his life or job situation.

Charlie and I were discussing this particular friend of mine and then we reached a decision. "There needs to be an individualized coaching service that really dissects each client's situation, personality, and the other factors in their specific field and then helps them to strengthen their weak areas and really learn how to interview." One size does not fit all in interview coaching.

Our research took us to many job interviewing web sites that were like a jungle to navigate. Buy these practice questions! Read this! Buy this! Try this! It was actually nightmarish trying to make sense of their websites and personal promotion of themselves. They were all job experts! They were all the best! We soon realized we would have to start from scratch to figure out the best way of helping potential clients.

After a year of field research and giving out hundreds of pro bono job coaching hours across many professional fields including business, engineering, science, law, academia, and medicine, we both realized there needed to be the following things present to truly help a job seeker succeed:

1) An understanding of the field he/she was trying to get employed in, especially specific companies and jobs that interested him/her.
2) An evaluation of the background, experience, skill set, and education and then showcasing the client’s strengths in his or her application, interviewing questions, and overall online presence;
3) A personality evaluation;
4) Personalized job coaching and job interviewing strategy built around THE client’s own unique needs, background, work field, and position sought;
5) Ongoing research in the contemporary job interviewing strategies used by corporations around the world including the psychology and profiling methods utilized.

So instead of trying to sell a client a pre-boxed set of IDEAS or a CULT personality behind the coaching, we decided to create the potential for a better and improved version of HIMSELF OR HERSELF that can be evolved and developed through the individualized process we have designed.

That is what Charlie McGillicuddy LLC is all about. 

Check it out at

No gimmicks. No catch phrases. No cult personalities. No feel good propaganda. 


Tuesday, September 29, 2015

The Why of Self Development

Can you even imagine belonging to a religious organization that down plays the importance of self-development? Neither can I but sadly, that was my scenario for many years.
Apparently the idea was “as we are told to look toward God, there remains nothing left of us but all of Him.” While this may sound metaphorically nice, the reality is God *YHWH is creating a UNIQUE creation in all of us. A long time ago I wrote a not very popular article called "Yellow Pencils are Us". As an early piece of my writing, it had a few grammatical errors in it, but as I have evolved as a writer I have improved in all areas. Why would a writer write as badly as they did twenty years ago? Who can proudly claim they have not improved with time? Members of certain churches I personally know seem to take great pride in doing absolutely nothing professionally and proudly bragging how they live off of the church and government. I find these souls the greatest embarrassment to both my faith and to the Creator God.
       The basis of self-development is that we learn from our mistakes and improve in our performance in all areas. If self-development is so bad, why on earth would we have the cognitive ability to analyze and study things? A newborn baby is born with a blank slate mentally. It must learn to speak and literally do everything. If we were not supposed to evolve and develop over the course of our lifetimes, we would have been born with full knowledge and instinct much like some of the lower life forms. But that is not the case. We were created to EVOLVE and DEVELOPMENT mentally.
We were created to learn. Stagnant waters rot and mold. And all life therein dies. A life that is not developed stagnates and the mind literally rots. Have you ever wondered why mental illness is at an all-time high in Western society?
Jesus Christ died for our sins. That opens up the door to eternal life. However, we have an entire life here on earth to develop both spiritually and physically. Spiritual development is something different from physical development although the fruits or curses of our spiritual development definitely effect our physical bodies and lives DEPENDING ON THE CHOICES MADE AND APPLICATION OF LESSONS LEARNED.
 Our physical development includes mental skills, physical performance, and professional skills that can get us employment or generate a skill set that people will pay us to perform for them. There is something seriously wrong with an able bodied person who can't figure out how to get a job or be able to feed him or herself. I blame the religious institutions directly for this curse we find in America right now. How many churches advocate work development? financial responsibility? professional development?
Minion makers have no desire to create superstars and kings: pay, stay, pray, and obey. One such corporate church actually issued this command a few years ago. Minions are easy to control and they faithfully give 10, 20 or 30% or even more of their income to the church leaders that they in turn use to preach the gospel but sadly, most of this profit is used to travel internationally and pay very large salaries to men who otherwise, probably could not find employment in contemporary society. I'm not against your church or having a paid minister, but I am against any church that holds its members back and tries to control their personal lives: whether this is limiting the educational opportunities, the kinds of jobs allowed to perform, gender suppression (in my 20's I was told I shouldn't be in music school and instead I should be preparing to be a good wife and mother), and otherwise. Churches need to stay OUT OF THE professional lives of their members and OUT OF THEIR bank accounts. If your church controls in ANY way it is time to find another church. Trust me, your future self will thank you and your Creator will applaud.
God wants you to develop. He wants you to learn from life and to become the best you that you can be. He wants you to choose a good profession that can adequately support you in all ways and allow you to live where you desire. He wants you to continually think new thoughts and find better ways of doing things. He wants you to teach others what you have learned. Yes, he wants to be the center of your life but He doesn't want you to use HIM as an excuse to stop developing. Actually this is the greatest insult you can give a stop becoming what he is trying to persuade you to become! God does not create minions. He creates masterpieces. And human development into the future spirit beings that will compose his ultimate family in the future Kingdom of God demands that people LEARN from life, CHOOSE the better things in life, and BECOME what they choose to become while using their talents, and DEVELOPING their minds and talents as they are so inspired.
I believe God blesses those who try. I believe those who simply pray and take no action will never get true answers or results to their prayers because quite frankly, they are LAZY. Why would God bring food to an able bodied person who refuses to work, hunt, or garden in order to feed themselves? Walking in faith does not mean walking in stupidity. The Bible is full of examples of DOERS, MOVERS, AND SHAKERS.  Even the poorest were expected to glean the edges of harvested fields to collect their own grains that they then would grind and make into flour and then bake into bread (See the book of Ruth). Did God ever just drop bread in their laps (excluding the miraculous manna incident while Israel was wondering in the desert: a people so stubborn and so stupid God allowed them to march in circles until they learned obedience).  This is the year 2015. Education for almost every subject in the universe is available free through books borrowed from the public library or online through various free videos and classes. There is absolutely no excuse not to self-development.
We must self-development for these reasons: a) to become what God wants us to become b) to be able to get the best job possible c) to be able to constantly add new and exciting fixtures to our  lives d) not to mentally stagnate and develop emotional and mental problems, e) to teach and help others improve their lives. And f) to fully enjoy and use the life we have been given.
Take control of your life and learn something new today. Self-evaluate your life and decide if you need further career training or academic enhancement to do what you really want to do and enjoy doing professionally. Get empowered, make new choices, and start self-developing TODAY.